what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
