Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I would ride that face into the sunset
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
