I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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