maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my shit smells like andre
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
