I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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