The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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