You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Is Oprah even human
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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