you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
