Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
