I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
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