She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
