I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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