Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
