I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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