I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
either way he was missing a nipple.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize