Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
