Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize