People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
