I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
