I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
handjob tips. give me some.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
