I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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