this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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