His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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