Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
