I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
