is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
