we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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