it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
