just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize