My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
