I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize