Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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