she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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