you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
