we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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