I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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