it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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