My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
