is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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