Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
