i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
