i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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