If i come over, it means nothing
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
