I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
