I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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