I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
