You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
