Michael Bay diarrhea
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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