Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
