does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
