did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
