Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
