I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
