No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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