ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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