____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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