Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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