we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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