the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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