he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize