did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
