Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize